This time of year I try to focus on matters around Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection. The annual ritual of returning to the Gospels and their accounts of the suffering and victory of Christ are of course a part of the rhythm of the church year. They are more than rhythm for me though - they are ritual in the most living sense of the word. They are a rite of belief with a return to the injustice of the Lord's treatment and then God's victorious answer.
In considering the injustice and the suffering of Christ - I have come to understand that there is nothing we experience of life's pain that Jesus didn't experience in passion week. Betrayal, abandonment, humiliation, mockery, physical and emotional torture, powerlessness, abuse, anguish of soul and physical pain - all concluding in death. If we are to follow Christ, his experience in passion week is not a cheery invitation. Paul said, "I want to share in the fellowship of his sufferings." I wonder if I would say that? I wonder if the American Church would say this. And then, the question.
The epicenter of the struggle of faith when one has lived long enough in pursuit of God through Christ and His Spirit, is this question: "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" This is the only question left when all the others have been exhausted. "God, where are you? Why do you not do something? I do not feel as though I have any relationship with you - I feel abandoned by you." I have had times when I asked this myself, and I have had times when I asked it in prayer on behalf of other people who are struggling. Being the ultimate question, it is an expression of faith and faith's frustration. Only a person who believes there is a God asks this question. You wouldn't cry out to God in anguish if you had no belief in God. To ask the question is to affirm a faith. To ask it is also to express faith's doubt and aloneness.
The solace to this sublime question is the resurrection. I don't know what I would do with my faith if the resurrection hadn't happened. It is God's answer to the question - though it didn't come in the moment, didn't come "on time" and didn't give what I was hoping for. It came late, it didn't relieve the suffering but came after it was concluded. But it is the answer - the victory, the triumph. Faith cries in the crucifixion and triumphs in the resurrection. Thanks be to you Lord Christ.
