It sounds harsh to use the phrase "grow up." Generally it's a pretty strong statement to tell someone, "C'mon, grow up." But the reality is, "grow up" is a call to all of us, all the time, regardless of our level. Growing to be more mature, more understanding, deeper, wiser, better people is a call for all of us. In our day it's especially significant. I'm finding that there are ways that God is inviting me to grow up, to address some things in my life, to call it what it is and get truthful, transparent, and sincere. I'm finding this to be true for many others too. This growth can be hard work - it's a call of God's rigorous love.
If you're under 50 years old, you were raised like me, in times of prosperity and in a culture of prosperity. This culture has fueled many perspectives - some of which have kept people from growing up, from taking responsibility, from - well, from becoming adults. Prosperity has a way of keeping us immature. Plus, the 70s and 80s were a time of raising kids in the psychological parenting culture of self esteem - always wanting Johnny to feel that he's wonderful. I suppose it didn't end in the 80s.
At this stage of my learning, I'm believing that to become a man; or to become a woman; as opposed to being a boy or a girl - there are three areas of health that are needed. A healthy relationship with God, a healthy relationship with oneself, a healthy relationship with our actions. Actions would include thoughts, words, deeds. I'm convinced that if we don't have healthy relationship with any one of these - God, self, or our actions - we are still boys or still girls. Not yet a man. Not yet a woman. Generally still proud, self centered, living on an image.
What is a healthy relationship? It's one of grace and truth. So we've got to have a grace and truth relationship with God: we've addressed the truth of our faults, our sins, our smallness before Him and our need for Him. We've also accepted his grace through Jesus Christ and the forgiveness He offers. A grace and truth relationship with our selves means we accept and invite the truth about ourselves. No untouchable categories, no touchy irritableness around a weakness we have. We also receive God's perspective of grace about ourselves and don't expect ourselves to be perfect. A grace and truth relationship with our actions means we're taking responsibility for our behavior and actions, and we seek to improve regardless of our personality or our upbringing. It's a no excuses policy and no childish talk like "that's just the way I am." That said, there is grace for our faults as well.
If we have a healthy relationship with God, our self and our actions - we'll have healthy relationships with others. Anything less in any of the three categories and we're still boys and girls.
