Jul 9, 2012

Meanderings on Trust

Some reflections on trust in the spirit of Ecclesiastes:
  • Trust is everything. It's the foundation that enables all interactions to happen in a positive way. Note the "in a positive way" part. Trust is so fundamental and necessary that you might say trust is like air. It's invisible but thoroughly essential. Like air it can get polluted though, and that can make things much more difficult.
  • I wish trust could be more like grace - that it could be a gift. But trust isn't like grace. Grace is a gift. Trust is earned. I was talking about this recently with someone who's experienced an unfaithfulness. With the best of our intentions, we might give grace to a person who has wronged us, but that does not mean that we trust them. That's different.
  • Trust is challenging in that it is so significant, so foundational, and yet so fragile. It's like a piece of glass that is half an inch thick; it can hold a lot, much can rest on top of it. But quick contact from a hammer can break the whole thing apart. A tap really. Trust can take years to build and only a split second to break. To build it back again may take the same period of years, or possibly more. Sometimes, for many reasons, it doesn't get built back again.
  • Trust is the invisible value that exists between two (or more) people that says "I receive you with good intentions and I will interact with you with the assumption that you will treat me well and faithfully." To trust is to be vulnerable. Intimacy depends on vulnerability, without vulnerability there can't be intimacy. Said another way, to be intimate you have to be vulnerable, to be vulnerable you have to trust. By definition, trust is risky.
  • It's virtually impossible to live a human life without giving relatively high levels of trust to people. Some people are more naturally trusting than others. They risk getting hurt. Other people are more naturally suspicious than others. They risk not knowing intimacy. Broken trust often leads to broken hearts. Broken hearts find it hard to trust again. A difficult cycle.
  • People cry out sometimes, "Why can't I trust you!?" The answer in it's broadest sense of course is sin. We serve our own interests and desires ahead of others. And our desires, insecurities, needs, and fears, lead us to self-centered behavior. It's a thick stew.
  • Most people believe they are trustworthy - which means the problem is with the other guy. But if everyone was as trustworthy as they believe themselves to be, this wouldn't be such a challenging area, a landscape littered with so many broken hearts. Who can you trust? God. But some don't believe that - or at least they struggle with that.
Two bible verses for closure: Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." John 14:1 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God. Trust also in me."